Life and art

[Dave Birch] I think I’ve accidentally invented a new art form: “reality twitter”. It’s cheap, entertaining and infinitely better than reality TV.

It happened by accident. I was on the Eurostar from Brussels and because I was really busy and trying to get a lot of work done, I was really annoyed that the guy behind me, who I couldn’t see, was yelling into his mobile phone. After a few minutes, though, I realised that what the guy was saying was actually quite interesting. I know it seems wrong to take advantage of another’s tragedy, but the story that was unfolding from the seat behind me had everything: excitement, suspense, drama and a little humour to. For a moment I thought idly that it was saving me the trouble of reading a novel and that gave me an idea – I started to listen to what he was saying, précis it and then post and anonymised version out on twitter. I did this every 10 or 15 minutes and in entirely unpredicted way it turned into a compelling read!

That evening I was genuinely surprised to get messages from people, not just in the UK, asking me what had happened at the end of the story. I had to explain to them I didn’t know because I’ve been telling the truth: I had actually been reporting what was going on in the seat behind me on the train and when the train got to London that was the end of the story!

So why was it compelling? Because it was real: he didn’t know that I was eavesdropping and (since we know that truth is stranger than fiction) most people reading knew that there was a real person behind it. So-called reality TV isn’t real at all: The Apprentice, I’m a Celebrity, those nauseating cooking shows, they are all a kind of theatre: the “contestants” know that they are being filmed and they are playing a game to “win”. That’s why the shows are so uninteresting (I know that some of my friends really like The Apprentice, so I’m sorry!).

By the way, for posterity, here is the story…

  • Fascinating. On the Eurostar. Guy behind me in national sales manager for a company that makes “palletisers” (??) he is arguing on phone… #
  • I think one of his key customers has been approached by sales manager from another country, he’s calling colleagues to find out truth… #
  • This is really exciting, seems that the rival sales manager lied about what the customer said! Your man is angry, but can’t go to boss yet! #
  • Nailbiting. He may not be able to attend the meeting with customer on Tuesday – if he is outflanked this way it will be curtains. #
  • I’m going to cry if he doesn’t get to Tuesday meeting. Come on! Who knows more about the fruit for goodness sake. Boss is going to call back #
  • Boss hasn’t called back, and deputy (I think) isn’t answering his mobile. He’s told someone else that he’s prepping a new quote, but why? #
  • No! He’s going with the high-risk strategy – he’s going to send his own new quote back to customer to get him to sign before Tuesday! #
  • No, no, no, we’re almost at St.Pancras, I don’t want to be left hanging! He was just talking to someone new, a colleague, about the gamble! #
  • Nooooooooooo! We’re getting off the train, now we’ll never know (except I’ve set a google alert because I know company names) #

See my point! As tweets it worked, but as a conventional narrative it doesn’t. William Heath just start another story from his train and asked for a hashtag, so I suggested #realitytw as the twitterati’s alternative to reality TV!

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

You’ve got fail

[Dave Birch] Yes, I know you’re not supposed to substitute anecdotes about your kids for real research, knowledge and insight into the future of society, but I’ve been reflecting on an exchange with my own Generation W (as in W for “whatever”) earlier in the day, and thought it was something worth sharing. It’s a small window into the near-term future of online communications.

My eldest son was walking into Waitrose with me when he took out his iPhone and said “Wow! amazing – Andy wasn’t lying! – He sent me some iPhone wallpaper he designed”. I thought his slur on Andy’s design skills was harsh, and told him so. “No,” he said, “I mean that he said he was going to e-mail them to me, and I thought he was just saying that, because no-one uses e-mail.”

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

11″

[Dave Birch] Well, I’ve got to say that I absolutely lurve my new MacBook Air. I got the small one, the 11-incher, and I just bought the entry level version with 2Gb RAM and 64Gb Flash. The MacBook Pro will remain my main machine, but it will only travel from my desk at home to my desk at the office. The rest of the time I’ll be carrying around a Kg of Air instead of 3Kg of Pro.

It’s an absolute joy to use. It’s a full-sized keyboard, which I need, in a not-much-more than keyboard-size package. The screen is bright and clear. If 1366×768 sounds small to you, well it isn’t. I’ve been writing blog posts, editing documents and even working on presentations on it, all with no problem at all.

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

Let’s ask BT where the next Skype is coming from

[Dave Birch] Some years ago, I wandered into work one morning to find the client I was working for absolutely furious. The client was an American, and he was reading about a presidential “power breakfast” or some such. It was to bring business leaders together with the White House to do something about unemployment, as I recall. My client pointed out that the people invited to the breakfast (the usual suspects: General Motors, Citi etc) employed a small number of people, in subsectors that had very special drivers, and that the single largest employer in the US at the time was Manpower, who were not at the breakfast. But, as he pointed out, since almost all employment in the US in small businesses and that (I can’t remember the exact statistic, but it was something like) 90% of all new jobs were being created in companies that employed less than 20 people, the President should have thrown out GM and Citi and invited in a few small businesses instead: a shopkeeper, someone starting a new company in his basement, a VC-funded started with less than 20 people, and so on.

Government is big, and backward looking, so it finds itself most comfortable dealing with big companies that have been successful in the recent past. As far as I can tell, this provides absolutely no help at all looking forward. If Google didn’t invent Facebook, how will talking to the government about it help to see what’s next? And Microsoft didn’t invent Google, and BT didn’t invent Skype, and Electronic Arts didn’t invent Zynga, and so it goes.

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

Agoraphobic

[Dave Birch] So I watched the movie Agora on a plane, and it really annoyed me. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it’s set in 4th century Alexandria and it’s about Hypatia, She was a famous philosopher, murdered by a Christian mob. In the movie she is a pagan, although no-one knows whether this is true or not and she may even have been Christian herself.

The Christian monks stripped her naked and dragged her through the streets to the newly Christianised Caesareum church, where she was brutally killed. Some reports suggest she was flayed with ostraca (pot shards) and set ablaze while still alive, though other accounts suggest those actions happened after her death:

[From Hypatia – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia]

Whew! Those Christians, huh? Anyway, I was curious about the story, and a cursory google reveals that it contains numerous errors (such as the fact that one of the key characters, a bishop, actually died two years before the events depicted). One comment on a movie site I saw pointed out that Hypatia was an older woman when these events took place and that she should have been played by Hellen Mirren instead of Rachel Weiss.

I suppose the movie did at least get me to go and find out more about her and the central battle between the religious (Bishop Cyril) and secular (Prefect Orestes) with, as usual, the Jews caught in the middle (although to be fair, the Bishop appeared to hate other Christians as much as he hated the Jews).

Orestes and Cyril soon came into conflict over Cyril’s hard-line actions against smaller Christian factions like the Novatians and his violence against Alexandria’s large Jewish community.

[From Agora, a Film on the Life of Philosopher Hypatia of Alexandria | Heritage Key]

This bit appear to be true: Psycho Cyril really did start a pogrom against the Jews, driving them out of Alexandria in 415 (Jews were an eighth of the population of Egypt at the time and Alexandria had the largest community) and he also killed Orestes.

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

Identity — A Story

[Dave Birch] Here’s a story about identity, just to show you how identity infrastructure works in the “real world” and how we aren’t wise to use what is alarmingly known as common sense in order to import this infrastructure across the virtual world boundary into our online future.

My son and I were out in the car one evening and we decided that since we had the lounge to ourselves that evening that we’d watch a movie together. Normally, we either buying movies through Apple TV, rummage around in the badly organised pile of DVDs in the living room, or go on Pirate Bay if we can’t find what we want through the preceding two mechanisms. But since we were out and about, we thought we go to Blockbuster. They were having a special offer whereby you could rent three DVDs for £10 for the weekend, so we decided to take advantage of it. After having spent the obligatory half an hour wandering aimlessly around the store and arguing about every single potential movie choice, we settled land on DVDs. When we got to the counter I realised that I’d forgotten my wallet but luckily we scraped up £10 between us in cash.

The actual Blockbuster video card that I was given when I opened the account, something like 15 or 20 years ago, has been long lost. For the last several years, on the odd occasion when we ventured in for a DVD, I’ve just given my surname and address and then paid using a credit card in that same name. This has served as adequate identification infrastructure for tens, if not hundreds, of visits. But this time I didn’t have my wallet, so when a guy asked me for my card and told him that I didn’t know where it was, he then asked for a credit card in the usual fashion and I told him that we didn’t have one of those either. So he said we couldn’t rent the DVDs. I was a bit annoyed because I couldn’t be bothered to drive all the way home, so I was just going to give up. But then the guy said have you got anything in the car that could be identification, like an insurer’s document or something, or even a letter addressed to you from someone official? I frankly doubted that I did, my son grasped at the straw and we went back to the car. Just as I’d imagined, there were no identification documents of any kind. They’re in the back of the car were half a dozen copies of the Digital Identity Reader 2010, the indispensable volume for all concerned with the topic of identity.

Over my son’s protestations, I went back into the shop with a copy of my book. I showed it to the guy and said “there you go, that’s me”. “Hold on”, he said, “have you got something with a picture on it, or is there a picture of you in the book?” I was forced to admit I didn’t, and there wasn’t. But son to the rescue with his raised-on-the-inter-web sensibilities. He held out an iPhone, and said “just googled him”. Fortunately under that search term, under Google images, the third picture along was me. We had our DVDs.

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

None shall password

[Dave Birch] Technology does throw up some damned difficult issues sometimes, particularly when it has an impact on law enforcement. In the old days, when your door was kicked in by size 12s, all of your documents could be read and used in evidence. But it’s not so easy now.

Brazilian police seized five hard drives when they raided the Rio apartment of banker Daniel Dantas as part of Operation Satyagraha in July 2008. But subsequent efforts to decrypt files held on the hardware using a variety of dictionary-based attacks failed even after the South Americans called in the assistance of the FBI. The files were encrypted using Truecrypt and an unnamed algorithm, reportedly based on the 256-bit AES standard. In the UK, Dantas would be compelled to reveal his passphrase under threat of imprisonment, but no such law exists in Brazil.

[From Brazilian banker’s crypto baffles FBI • The Register]

I suppose you could always say that you were mentally ill and couldn’t remember the password, or something similar, but in the UK that wouldn’t keep you out of chokey.

The first person jailed under draconian UK police powers that Ministers said were vital to battle terrorism and serious crime has been identified by The Register as a schizophrenic science hobbyist with no previous criminal record. His crime was a persistent refusal to give counter-terrorism police the keys to decrypt his computer files. The 33-year-old man, originally from London, is currently held at a secure mental health unit after being sectioned while serving his sentence at Winchester Prison.

[From UK jails schizophrenic for refusal to decrypt files • The Register]

This is a really difficult issue. In the UK it’s illegal to not give the police your password to (I think) anything. Certainly, if you have encrypted email, files, disks etc and you won’t hand over the password (or decryption key) to the forces of law and order then you will go to jail. Someone else just has, in fact.

A teenager has been jailed for 16 weeks after he refused to give police the password to his computer. Oliver Drage, 19, of Liverpool, was arrested in May 2009 by police tackling child sexual exploitation. Police seized his computer but could not access material on it as it had a 50-character encryption password. Drage was convicted of failing to disclose an encryption key in September. He was sentenced at Preston Crown Court on Monday.

[From BBC News – Man jailed over computer password refusal]

He got 16 weeks in chokey for this. I can see three possibilities here: he is guilty of some child porn offence and his encrypted files would prove it, he is guilty of something else or he is not guilty but just doesn’t want the police looking through his files. Take the worst case (from society’s point of view, not his) and let’s say he is guilty of a serious child porn offence (I’m not saying he is, or isn’t, and I fully recognise that he wasn’t convicted of any such thing). I’m a parent. If he did such a thing, I want him locked up for a long time and I don’t want him back on the streets without treatment. 16 weeks is a joke. 

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

Now and then

[Dave Birch] I went along to the University of Southampton Class of 1980 30th reunion, which was fun. I really did enjoy my time there (it’s one of top 10 UK universities according to the students) and was looking forward to seeing it again. I booked up for the whole package, which included staying in a dorm again for the night.

Dorm

It was a little different from my old room in that it had en-suite and internet and a telephone. Mollycoddled, today’s students.

Dorm!

When I was in my first year, I actually lived in Connaught Hall, part of the Wessex Lane halls. These were different from the other halls, mainly because they had a warden system, whereby each landing was under the control of a warden (all of whom, I think, were lecturers or mature students). I don’t remember much about ours except that he seemed to drink a lot. I was there reading Physics, which I loved but wasn’t very good at. I was actually something of a maths prodigy, but I didn’t wanted to study it at university. Fortunately, Southampton at that time had good computing courses, so a combination of failing physics modules together with pass maths and computing modules earned me a degree. As it happened, only two of us physicists showed up (me and David Perry) but I got the full class list so maybe I’ll type it in to a web page somewhere in case one of my former classmates google’s themsevles.

We went off for a tour around the campus. Here’s our tour guide, who was born eight years after I graduated, standing outside the Hartley Library, which was built in the 1930s, asking us if it had been there when we were students.

Library

In my second and third years I shared a house with friends in Sirdar Road, right behind the Engineering blocks, so my world lay essentially along a straight line, from the Brook Inn (our local pub) along Sirdar Road, past Engineering…

Way Home

… and then across the campus to Physics. The Physics building hadn’t changed much at all as far as I could see.

{Physics

After the campus tour I went to a lecture — quite unlike any I had ever attended on the campus before, because it was about Agincourt and such like and it was given by Anne Curry, Professor of Medieval History and author of a book on the subject — and then in the evening we met for a talk by Professor Dame Wendy Hall who explained her personal journey from being student at Southampton to being Dean of the Faculty of Physical and Applied Sciences via being the first ever non-American chair of the ACM.

Wendy Hall

We then sat down to very pleasant dinner followed by drinks at the bar. At dinner, the organisers had put copies of the student newspaper from now and from then out for us to browse. Much of the content was the same then as now, although the politics today seemed much less radical (today’s students don’t have things like the Anti-Nazi League to galvanise them, I suppose). I don’t envy them. I had a full grant and lived easily, frankly. But one thing that did leap out at me was that the old newspaper had “milk round” adverts in it.

Advert

These date from the days when there used to be jobs for graduates, so employes would come to down, rent out a pub and ply prospective employees with drink. That’s how I got my first job. All in a all, a lovely reminder of how I started down the short and not especially winding path to Consult Hyperion.

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes