Life and art

[Dave Birch] I think I’ve accidentally invented a new art form: “reality twitter”. It’s cheap, entertaining and infinitely better than reality TV.

It happened by accident. I was on the Eurostar from Brussels and because I was really busy and trying to get a lot of work done, I was really annoyed that the guy behind me, who I couldn’t see, was yelling into his mobile phone. After a few minutes, though, I realised that what the guy was saying was actually quite interesting. I know it seems wrong to take advantage of another’s tragedy, but the story that was unfolding from the seat behind me had everything: excitement, suspense, drama and a little humour to. For a moment I thought idly that it was saving me the trouble of reading a novel and that gave me an idea – I started to listen to what he was saying, précis it and then post and anonymised version out on twitter. I did this every 10 or 15 minutes and in entirely unpredicted way it turned into a compelling read!

That evening I was genuinely surprised to get messages from people, not just in the UK, asking me what had happened at the end of the story. I had to explain to them I didn’t know because I’ve been telling the truth: I had actually been reporting what was going on in the seat behind me on the train and when the train got to London that was the end of the story!

So why was it compelling? Because it was real: he didn’t know that I was eavesdropping and (since we know that truth is stranger than fiction) most people reading knew that there was a real person behind it. So-called reality TV isn’t real at all: The Apprentice, I’m a Celebrity, those nauseating cooking shows, they are all a kind of theatre: the “contestants” know that they are being filmed and they are playing a game to “win”. That’s why the shows are so uninteresting (I know that some of my friends really like The Apprentice, so I’m sorry!).

By the way, for posterity, here is the story…

  • Fascinating. On the Eurostar. Guy behind me in national sales manager for a company that makes “palletisers” (??) he is arguing on phone… #
  • I think one of his key customers has been approached by sales manager from another country, he’s calling colleagues to find out truth… #
  • This is really exciting, seems that the rival sales manager lied about what the customer said! Your man is angry, but can’t go to boss yet! #
  • Nailbiting. He may not be able to attend the meeting with customer on Tuesday – if he is outflanked this way it will be curtains. #
  • I’m going to cry if he doesn’t get to Tuesday meeting. Come on! Who knows more about the fruit for goodness sake. Boss is going to call back #
  • Boss hasn’t called back, and deputy (I think) isn’t answering his mobile. He’s told someone else that he’s prepping a new quote, but why? #
  • No! He’s going with the high-risk strategy – he’s going to send his own new quote back to customer to get him to sign before Tuesday! #
  • No, no, no, we’re almost at St.Pancras, I don’t want to be left hanging! He was just talking to someone new, a colleague, about the gamble! #
  • Nooooooooooo! We’re getting off the train, now we’ll never know (except I’ve set a google alert because I know company names) #

See my point! As tweets it worked, but as a conventional narrative it doesn’t. William Heath just start another story from his train and asked for a hashtag, so I suggested #realitytw as the twitterati’s alternative to reality TV!

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

You’ve got fail

[Dave Birch] Yes, I know you’re not supposed to substitute anecdotes about your kids for real research, knowledge and insight into the future of society, but I’ve been reflecting on an exchange with my own Generation W (as in W for “whatever”) earlier in the day, and thought it was something worth sharing. It’s a small window into the near-term future of online communications.

My eldest son was walking into Waitrose with me when he took out his iPhone and said “Wow! amazing – Andy wasn’t lying! – He sent me some iPhone wallpaper he designed”. I thought his slur on Andy’s design skills was harsh, and told him so. “No,” he said, “I mean that he said he was going to e-mail them to me, and I thought he was just saying that, because no-one uses e-mail.”

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

11″

[Dave Birch] Well, I’ve got to say that I absolutely lurve my new MacBook Air. I got the small one, the 11-incher, and I just bought the entry level version with 2Gb RAM and 64Gb Flash. The MacBook Pro will remain my main machine, but it will only travel from my desk at home to my desk at the office. The rest of the time I’ll be carrying around a Kg of Air instead of 3Kg of Pro.

It’s an absolute joy to use. It’s a full-sized keyboard, which I need, in a not-much-more than keyboard-size package. The screen is bright and clear. If 1366×768 sounds small to you, well it isn’t. I’ve been writing blog posts, editing documents and even working on presentations on it, all with no problem at all.

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes

Let’s ask BT where the next Skype is coming from

[Dave Birch] Some years ago, I wandered into work one morning to find the client I was working for absolutely furious. The client was an American, and he was reading about a presidential “power breakfast” or some such. It was to bring business leaders together with the White House to do something about unemployment, as I recall. My client pointed out that the people invited to the breakfast (the usual suspects: General Motors, Citi etc) employed a small number of people, in subsectors that had very special drivers, and that the single largest employer in the US at the time was Manpower, who were not at the breakfast. But, as he pointed out, since almost all employment in the US in small businesses and that (I can’t remember the exact statistic, but it was something like) 90% of all new jobs were being created in companies that employed less than 20 people, the President should have thrown out GM and Citi and invited in a few small businesses instead: a shopkeeper, someone starting a new company in his basement, a VC-funded started with less than 20 people, and so on.

Government is big, and backward looking, so it finds itself most comfortable dealing with big companies that have been successful in the recent past. As far as I can tell, this provides absolutely no help at all looking forward. If Google didn’t invent Facebook, how will talking to the government about it help to see what’s next? And Microsoft didn’t invent Google, and BT didn’t invent Skype, and Electronic Arts didn’t invent Zynga, and so it goes.

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen megabytes